Backlash

When Lake Superior State University publishes its next list of words that should be banned from the English language because they’ve been overused, I hope “green” is one of them. I hate that word, not because I’m opposed to living responsibly with nature, but because the term became cliche two months after Al Gore’s movie premiered.

The only way we’re going to reduce the carbon emissions that are allegedly responsible for alleged global warming, is to reduce the number of people on earth. Here’s how I propose we do that.

First, get rid of all politicians. They’re liars and hypocrites and allowed this mess to get so far out of hand.

Next, get rid of televangelists. They add to carbon footprinting by using donations to buy private jets.

Then get rid of the people whose importance to the well-being of the world is measured only in their minds. That eliminates Paris Hilton and the Kardashians.

Members of hate groups? Outta here! Litterbugs? Who needs ’em?

Michael Vick, Pacman Jones? Gone!

Al Gore? Mr. Global Warming lives in a 10,000 square foot house. He pays so-called “offsets” so he can heat and cool the place. All that means is that he pays a higher price for the energy he consumes. Big deal! And does he really need a pontoon boat to cruise around lakes, adding to water and air pollution?

After these and a few others are eliminated, then get rid of half the populations of developing countries and seventy-five per cent of the populations of developed countries. Why so many? We use the majority of the world’s resources so most of us need to go.

Now I have to think of a humane way to get rid of so many people without adding to pollution. The nice thing is that we’re biodegradable.

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