Gifts and Talents

Everyone has a special gift or talent, so I’ve been told. Many of us spend a lifetime trying to discover ours. Today I figured out mine – the ability to find disgusting things in the kitchen and bathroom.

I don’t recommend that anyone who is not in excellent health check the following places in their home. If you think you are brave enough, be sure your tetanus shot is current and you have a hazmat suit on hand.

My first experience with this gift was in the kitchen of an apartment where I once lived. A funny smell kept hitting me in the face every time I walked into the kitchen. I followed my nose and it led me to the garbage disposer. The disposer was empty (Note: Be sure it’s turned off before you put your hand in.) but when I pulled out my hand, one of the flaps turned up. That was the day I learned that not everything that swirls around when the disposer is turned on disappears. Some of it sticks under the flap and ferments.

One day I cleaned the shower stall and wondered what was in the bottom piece of the frame. It has holes, so I assumed they were for drainage. I detached the shower head, turned the spray to a single hard stream and aimed it into one of the holes. Black clumps came out the other hole. Curiosity not only kills the cat, it also makes more work.

When was the last time you took the stopper out of your bathroom sink? Drano may clear clogs but it doesn’t do anything about the stuff that clings like velcro to the sides of the pipe. And the stopper! Disgusting! A piece of wire hanger with one end slightly curved will pull out your kid’s next science project.

Has your dishwasher ever smelled funny? Take out the rack, lift up the spray arm, and the bottom thingy. What lurks there is indescribable. All this time I thought dishwasher detergent contained some bleach. It certainly smells bleachy but it doesn’t kill what I found there. The funny thing is, I don’t think it was mold or mildew. It looked like wet grits.

I wish I had a different talent, like being an artist or musician. At least their talents bring pleasure to the world.

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