Not all cities have access to Groupon, a discount system for restaurants and other attractions.  Nashville does and I signed up to have offers delivered to my e-mail inbox.  One day last month the offer was for yogurt – I assumed the frozen variety, so I bought two series of five each.  They were a little pricey ($25 for five) so I figured it must be extra good.

Imagine my surprise when I found out I just purchased ten yoga classes.  Not a bad thing, mind you, but a far cry from a cool and refreshing dessert.  Basic yoga – how hard can that be?  Yoga is a civilized exercise system.  The most important thing, as it is with any activity, is to have a cute outfit.  Outfit and mat purchased, I showed up for the first class last week.

Soothing music played in the background as our instructor introduced us to poses.  No jumping, running in place, or flapping arms.  No sweat.  Ha!  You could have refilled the Dead Sea seven times with what poured off me in that hour.

Being a vehement anti-exercise person for many years, my center of gravity shifted.  Whatever part is in the air wants to come down.  So there I was, hands and feet on the mat, butt in the air, and she said, “Lift your right leg.”  I learned that not only is gravity not my friend, but I’m also asymmetrical.  Balancing on three appendages is physically impossible.  Gently lowering myself to the floor can’t happen either.  The earth’s gravitational pull is too strong.  Had my mat not been extra thick, I would have cracked three ribs.

Second class was last night and I learned that yoga class is like church.  You have to get there early to find a spot on the back row.  Did I mention that I’m by far the oldest person in the class?  Young, trim bodies and me.  Oy ve.  Only eight to go!